Day Off From School (Bueller…Bueller?)

My one and only son, The Deuce, who is five was off from school today. Teacher’s Professional Development Day. I prepared yesterday for not doing much computer work today or some interrupted computer work today. Because it’s The Deuce’s world and we just live in it. Hubby and I let him sleep in his sleeping bag on the fully reclined love seat last night in the living room. He watched NickToons and Disney Channel until he couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer.

This morning he was bright eyed and bushy tailed because I promised him pizza. He had rightfully earned it with a free coupon from school for reading ten books. However I never venture out without having more than one stop to make. Whenever he goes somewhere with me, he always asks, “How many stops do we have to make?” Today it was supposed to be three, but of course it turned into four. So naturally he asked, “Is Pizza Hut the first stop?” Uh, no.

The first stop was Starbucks for a Cafe Mocha which was a treat for me because I hate spending more than $2 for coffee. Next stop was Dollar Tree. My all-time favorite store. That led to his discovery that there was more than one in town. He asked, “How many things do we have to get?” It was supposed to be six, but of course it turned into thirteen.

I figured since we were at Dollar Tree, why not grab Easter eggs for his class party next week and the candy to fill them. Preparation is key. It started out nice and calm with him choosing a pack of plastic eggs and quickly turned into hysteria over jelly beans vs. mini chocolate eggs. I prefer to put things that are individually packaged in the eggs to keep things sanitary. As I debated with my Kindergartener on “too big for the plastic egg” candy, germs, and how many would be left over for him; I wondered, “Why did I decide to do this when he is with me?”

As we left the store, I called ahead for the pizza so we wouldn’t have to wait for it there. “Are we going to get pizza now?” he asked. I told him that it would take fifteen minutes for the pizza, so we were going to drop some packages off at the post office. “Do we have to get out of the car?” I told him no that I would just put the packages in the drop box outside. That seemed to calm his anxiety. Eventually we grabbed his pizza and were on our way home. All of this probably seems like minimal stuff to the average person. That’s because I left out a few things.

1. He had the nerve to ask for a sip of my Starbucks coffee.
2. He shoved a jingle bell inside the car charger outlet.
3. He almost amputated his hand adjusting head rest on my car seat.
4. He asked me if ASS was a bad word.
5. Did I mention the coffee?

I laughed more than I cursed because this kid makes me happier, healthier, and wiser.