I’ll Be The One Under The Bed

Bridges, heights, snakes, large dogs, and pitch black darkness all give me pause. So much so it’s hard for me to write that in this post. I didn’t even want to proofread that. Those are the physical things.

What makes me most afraid are the visceral things. Because they can last for more than a moment. Unhappiness for The Deuce, heartbreak of any kind for him, not giving him all the tools he needs to be successful in life. I see and feel such joy for that child. Even when I am yelling at him for not flushing the toilet. It is my job to raise him. Not his teachers, principals, and school staff. Me. His mother. I am supposed to prepare him for the world. He looks at me like I can save him from all that is ugly out there. And I want to do that for him.

Disappointing my parents is another thing I’m afraid of. Doesn’t matter how old I am. I’ll always want them to approve of what I’m doing and how I’m living my life. I have no doubt that they love me unconditionally and are proud of me. There were things that I wanted growing up, but I never lacked the things I needed. They made sure of that. I didn’t know it then, but I do now. Gratitude is my attitude.

What do you fear?

This post is for Day 7 of the Blog Every Day In May Challenge: 
The thing(s) you’re most afraid of