Thu. Sep 24th, 2020

81 thoughts on “Should I Tell My Readers That I’m A Black Catholic Convert Who Votes Democrat?

  1. I know nothing about politics so I don’t talk about it since I couldn’t hold up my end of the bargain. I tend to avoid religious conversations as most people are not actually as tolerant as they think they are and some people can be put off by me since I have different religious views.

    1. Exactly! I don’t want to start talking about something that I am not knowledgeable about.

  2. Um, you may be my new BFF. SURPRISE! Loved this so much, as I have encouraged all I know to be themselves. Please. Let it spill on all that you love. Well done, momma!

  3. Found your blog from SITS girls and really enjoy it!
    I’ve been blogging for about 5 years and early on I worried a ton about being “PC.” You know what? People don’t become followers of your tribe that way. Good for you for saying these things. As Stephen King would say, “If you want to write, your days as a member of polite society are numbered anyway.”

    1. I’ve never heard that Stephen King quote. That’s great! Thanks so much, Renia.

  4. This is an awesome post! I am new to the blogging community and have been struggling with how much of myself and my family I should share. I really want to write about some of the stuff I am passionate about, however I worry it not be well accepted and/or cause negative feedback. I’m glad to hear that you went through the same thing and figured it all out! Thank you very much for sharing!

    1. It can be unnerving, Stacy. But my passion for writing and sharing is strong and it won out in the end. Thank you!

  5. I had similar hesitations when starting my blog. I wanted to share my religious views on my blog without it being the focus. I wanted people to know where I was coming from because it’s a big part of who I am, without losing readers who find it annoying when people “push” their religion through their blog. I hope I’ve managed to find a balance…

    Thanks for sharing! Happy SITS Day!

    1. Balance! Such a great word and concept. I strive for it daily. Thank you, Leah!

  6. Hi Kimberly, and Happy SITS day! This is such a sincere post and I think it’s something a lot of us bloggers go through. I still struggle with sharing some things on my blog, which is weird cause I’m an over sharer in real life, but I think it all comes back to that fear of rejection, of not being liked. You seem to have proved though, that sharing who you really are is the way to go. Thanks for sharing such a personal struggle 🙂

    1. I struggled with drafting and sharing the post. It’s funny but for every blogger who told me they felt like I did, there was a blogger that said they haven’t thought twice about expressing their true selves. I’m an over sharer in real life too. LOL. Thank you, Meg!

  7. {Kathy} Sorry the other comment box is empty…..what I meant to say is this….. I am also a Catholic convert from an Evangelical background. I understand the hesitancy when it comes to sharing your faith on your blog. I have received some mixed comments concerning Catholicism there and otherwise. I encourage you to speak out more about why you converted and how it has enhanced your life. You’ve got one supportive sister here!

    1. I am very appreciative of your words, Kathy. Thank you! I had a very heated conversation with someone many years ago about converting. Someone I had just met. I thought they were quite forward about expressing their dislike for my conversion when they knew nothing about me. Thanks for the encouragement.

  8. One of the things I’ve been working on doing on my blog is sharing more about who I am. I’m not 100% comfortable speaking on religion or politics, so I stay away from those issues and pretty much anything else controversial. I have shared with my readers that I’m Christian, but I don’t do any posts discussing religion or debating any parts of it. Politics…well, I never discuss. Nonetheless, I think its great to tell your readers whatever you’d like them to know about you. Its your blog, your space and you should be able to put what you want on it. If your readers (or other people) don’t like, they simply don’t have to visit.

    Happy SITS Day and congrats on your book and being a published author!

    1. Hot button issues are just that–hot button issues. But it’s what makes the world go ’round. Thank you, Tenns!

  9. I am relatively new to blogging too and had a similar experience. Do I blog about Judaism? How about that I send my kids to camp for (gasp!) 7 weeks? Would people dislike me for my religious and parenting choices? I answered it myself – I don’t care. If people don’t like me, they don’t have to read. After all, I want people to relate to me, so I have to be authentic in my writing. Happy SITS Day, glad I got the chance to stop by and read. You are very relatable.

    1. So very true, Beth! It’s like TV, if someone doesn’t like a show, they can turn the channel. Thank you!

  10. Kimberly, it’s funny the people we meet online. From what I gather, we’re probably very different. I’m a cradle Catholic, homeschooled, homeschooling mom to 8 kids who makes it a point to try every day to impress how rich our Catholic heritage is upon my children. I find very few things worth discussing in a social setting besides religion and politics. And yet I found your post to be engaging and interesting. That’s the beauty of being authentic. When we share our true selves, it’s easier to remember that, despite our differences, we are all part of the same family. Happy SITS day!

    1. Lovely comment, Bridget. Thank you! When we open our minds and our hearts, we learn so much more.

  11. Bloggers wear many hats, but we many of us share the trait to jump right in and learn as we go. Good for you for sharing yourself. It takes courage!

  12. What a great lesson for all bloggers. If we can’t write our truth why bother. How can we stand out from the crowd and be unique among the mass of giveaways and blog hops if everyone’s blog is generic. Revealing who you really are makes me want to learn more about you not less. Makes me want to blog more from “me.” I’ve been struggling with where I want to go on my blog.

    Congratulations on your SITS Day.

    1. So true! Even if we think we are not unique, we are. Someone out there will relate. Thank you for commenting.

  13. I tend to be an “outsider” in the blogging community when it comes to politics and religion and other “hot button” issues. I struggled long and hard over whether or not to say that I’m atheist. It seems that I’m in like .5% of the blogger population by not being religious, or having some mention of Christianity in my “about me.” And there really seems to be an even larger minority of “mommy bloggers” who will openly admit they are pro-choice or supportive of gay rights. Is this because they are afraid they’ll lose readers, or because they aren’t those things? I don’t honestly know. I sure wish I could find them though, because it’s lonely in this corner.

    But the bottom line for me is that I AM atheist, I have always been, and I’m not ashamed of that. I felt like not at least mentioning that in my About Me would be hiding who I am, and that’s not why I blog. If I can’t be me in my own corner of the Internet, then what’s the point?

    I’m sure there are bloggers who won’t read what I post because of that one word. They’ll assume, like many people, that I’m not a good person or that they have nothing in common with “someone like her.” And you know what? Their loss. I read blogs by Christian women because I don’t believe that your faith in God defines who you are as a person; because we are more than the sum of our religious beliefs; because the success of a recipes or craft or DIY project doesn’t hinge on whether or not one labels themselves as Baptist or Buddhist or Atheist. We’re all just… human.

    I still likely won’t blog about hot button issues though, because it’s the wrong content for my site. That’s not what my readers want.

    1. And thank you for sharing that, Stephanie. I don’t force my beliefs on others and I accept that they may disagree with mine. I appreciate your candor. Thank you.

  14. My blog name and identity includes my real name. I feel like that has always forced authenticity on me! I share my blog with real life friends and family and they would surely call me out if I was not being myself. That being said, I don’t usually blog about politics or other hot button issues, because I don’t normally discuss them in my real life.

    1. I’ve read about bloggers who say all their friends, family, and neighbors know their blog and read it. Talk about having to be your authentic self! Fine lines. Thanks Rabia!

  15. I know exactly where you’re coming from – I had the same fear and reservations when I started blogging. I would hide my identity and who I was – slowly with time and trusting in other bloggers you connect with, it gets easier and you learn to let go. 🙂 That 24 reasons you’re not getting comments is right on point, very accurate!! Take Care Kimberly! -Iva

    1. It can be very scary revealing yourself online. You don’t want to let go in the beginning or you wonder if anyone will care. And you are right, you wind up connecting with a circle of trusted bloggers, and it all falls into place. Thanks Iva!

  16. I totally understand your struggle. I recently started my blog, and it took awhile for me to find my voice. I wrote posts for awhile because I saw them trending on other blogs. These posts got the lowest views of my entire blog. I also lost my purpose and joy for writing my blog.

    I decided WHATEVER. If I never have another reader again, I’m going to enjoy this blogging experience and DO ME. Once I did that, my blog started becoming much more successful. My following is small, but I feel like they care what I have to say.

    I have not discussed any hot button issues on my blog, mostly because I don’t consider myself informed enough to comment. I hate those people on FB who act like they know everything, but it realty know nothing. I’m not going to become one of those people.

    1. That was so eye opening for me when my posts revealing my true self garnered the most comments, traffic, etc. I remember thinking, “Why didn’t I do that in the first place? What was I so afraid of?” It’s a process. Thanks, Megan.

  17. I think it takes time to find your voice and space in the blogosphere. I love how thoughtful you have been with your blog. I think it’s important. When we show our true authentic selves, that shines through our words. I definitely connect with bloggers who are true to who they are and make no apologies for it!

    Happy SITS Day!

  18. I love this article! I love the honesty, the authenticity, and the vulnerability it represents. It”s real, you’re real–and I respect that. I take for granted being a white female–I can’t even pretend to know all of the issues you’ve had to face in life and I so appreciate that you’ve shared some of your struggles with us, the readers. I grew up with parents who believed that no matter what your skin color is (and other diversities), we are all just souls on the inside (they would say we’re all the same on the inside). It’s like Wayne Dyer’s concept “We’re all just spiritual beings having a human experience.” By the way, I think you’re a wonderful role model for your son–you are showing him that you are not afraid to be who you are. I think when you break free of the chains of “what will people think of me?” you open your life up to a whole new realm of being.

  19. I really love your honesty and authenticity in this post. I’m not always as forthright with my opinions as I could be, for fear of offending someone. (Which is funny and would cause my husband to spit his coffee out, laughing, because I’m CERTAINLY NOT afraid to share my opinions at home. So nice to meet you via SITS!

    1. I tend to get a case of Foot-In-Mouth disease often so that figured into my being conservative initially also. Thanks for commenting, Pam!

  20. I struggle with this also! There are some things I think in my head but don’t blog about, because I feel like I would be opening a can of worms that doesn’t have a lot to do with my blog’s focus (it’s mostly centered around style–I don’t have a strictly “personal” or multi-topic blog). But there are times I talk about things that are important to me, like veganism, even though I know some readers might disagree with me or be offended. I like to be authentic, even if it is a work in progress.

    Have a very happy SITS day!

    1. Authentic, yes, Martha! I want to be myself not a representation of myself. Thank you for commenting.

  21. Excellent post! I’m an esthetician so my blog deals with treatments and products I do on clients and myself. I have hesitated to share much of my life because I felt that’s not what my blog is about and I am a private person. However I have added a few post that were a bit more personal and have also posted pictures. I plan on doing more as I think it does make you more relatable.

    1. It does make you more relatable, Susie. Absolutely! I think of it as sharing and revealing rather than instructing and telling. Thank you for stopping by to comment.

  22. I can really relate to this post. I struggle with how much of myself to reveal on my blog. I post photos of my kids, but I don’t use their real names. I can’t help but discuss politics sometimes (I have my Masters in Political Science) but I don’t generally enjoy starting arguments in my blog-space. So I’ve generally kept to non-controversial topics (I’m Canadian, and I’ve written about our Senate Scandal) Sigh. It’s a fine balance, isn’t it?
    I think you’ve done a good job here. You’re not out to provoke negative reactions, you’re not trolling, you’re speaking honestly and intelligently about topics that are important to you. Keep up the good work.

  23. I think all the best bloggers are the ones who are really honest about who they are and their struggles in life. I am a private person by nature, so it’s hard for me to do sometimes. I recently blogged about what a post-partum stomach really looks like and how I struggle with yelling at my kids. I was nervous about publishing both times but people really responded to those posts. Happy SITS Day!

    1. I cannot tell you how many drafts that I have erased or deleted for fear I would come off sounding like a bad mom, wife, or person. But we’re all human and I definitely don’t want to sound perfect. Thank you, Sarah!

  24. I also had some hesitations what to share and what to keep for myself regarding my blog. I must admit I still have these hesitations in real life communication because I feel people can become really judgemental sometimes. I also tend to so I guess it makes me more comfortable not sharing some facts and this lets me enjoy who I am more because I do not have to worry about how people would react to the fact I am black or catholic or democrat or whatever!

    1. I had to embrace the fact that the blog was mine. I am the writer, director, and executive producer. I realized that I needed to write for myself and not for readers that I hope would like it. Thank you for commenting.

  25. Love it! Be you and be true to yourself. Words that are easier said than done in this world wide web of blogging. I enjoyed this post and can relate 100% to the difficulty that is experienced in being transparent. I want to make a small footprint and voice for myself and what I believe through this blogging thing. 🙂 #MBC

    Cheers!
    Carica
    My recent post I be like, why our kids talk like that: Why do black children get a pass to speak improperly

  26. Yes to ALL of this Kimberly! I, too, stil have struggles of just how much “me” I want to display on my blog. I don't mind showing my face, but I sometimes lay low when it comes to what I write because I don't want to offend any of my readers. Slowly, but surely, I feel that I will come out of my shell and step out of my cookie-cutter box when it comes to blogging though!
    My recent post Confessions of a Blogger

    1. Many times I have felt I was the only one who struggled with revealing things about themselves. I assumed everyone else was keepin' it real. LOL. Thank you for sharing, Britton.
      My recent post Before I Was a WAHM, SAHM, or a MOM

  27. I saw the title of this post on your sidebar and immediately clicked on it. I didn't mention a word about religion on my blog for the same reasons you were hesitate to talk about race or religion. I'm Jewish, and I didn't want to turn off readers for whom that would be an issue. My husband was the voice of reason (like yours), and reminded me that if I lose a reader because of my religion, they weren't a reader I wanted anyway. It's a part of who I am, and that's who you get if you read my blog. Who you are – your race, your religion, your political affiliation – is what fuels your voice, and you should be proud of that. Great post, Kimberly!

    1. Dana, thank you. I have really been touched by the response to this post. I thought long and hard about it before publishing it. I no longer wanted to hide behind my words or feelings. It was very cathartic for me. I have been pleasantly surprised by other bloggers and readers like you that said they felt as I did. I appreciate you sharing.
      My recent post Sound The Alarm

  28. I make it very clear that my blog is just that MY blog. And with that being the case, I blog about whatever I want for the most part. I don't shy away from tough topics because I feel sweeping stuff under the rug or ignoring it doesn't solve the problem. I do think that when discussing controversial topics, we shouldn't come off as snobby or rude. Other than that, we're free to express ourselves and state our opinions.

    Are there going to be some readers who can't handle it? Yes, but at the end of day you have to decide where or not you want to censor yourself for the duration of your blog. At the end of the day, my loyal readers know how to agree to disagree and we don't fall out over differences of opinion.
    My recent post Thankful Thursday

    1. Thank you for sharing those comments. Readers who are loyal will read no matter what. I'm beginning to realize that. Happy to connect with you. Following you on Bloglovin'.
      My recent post Happy And Angry Are 5 Letter Words

  29. I'm so glad you have your husband to support you. One of the reasons I love your blog is because you are YOU. I think people can tell when writers are faking it. I'm so glad we have connected through this crazy internet community. Just keep doing what you're doing. When I wrote my first few posts I wasn't sure if I was going to ever include a picture of myself. I kind of liked the idea of anonymity. But what I heard from a lot of people is that readers want to know YOU- the good, the bad and the hopefully not too ugly 🙂
    My recent post Man Behind the Blog

    1. Anonymity. Yes, that's where I wanted to be for as long as I could. I read too that readers want to know you and see you. Well, they are finding out quite a bit now. LOL. Thanks for supporting me, Kate. It takes a village to raise a blog.
      My recent post Isn't That Pinteresting?

  30. O-M-G Kim! You have poked me in nearly every paragraph of this blog post. I, like you, have had reservations about showing my face in my line of business for (I'm sure) the very same reasons you had. Somehow, reading your post just liberated me and gave me peace about letting those who sign up to make money through my company, visit my blog on romance & intimacy and everything in between, and those who follow my company's social media paths know that the CEO is a black woman. Thanks to you, just moments ago, I exhaled and released the fear of potential clients taking their business elsewhere simply because my skin looks different. Thanks for bringing me to a place of freedom.

    1. Girl, I have tears in my eyes. What a compliment. I've been looking at you and your business ventures and thinking what a strong, independent black woman she is. I thought I was the only one who had reservations. I appreciate you, old friend. Let's keep supporting one another.
      My recent post 'Cause This Is Summertime (In My Fresh Prince Voice)

  31. I do try to stay away from controversy on my blog whenever I can for the most part because those things are personal to me, but I don't try to be someone I'm not. The world is a much better place when there are people with differing opinions and from different backgrounds. The world would be a pretty boring place if we were all the same. I loved how you mentioned Joi…she is pretty amazing!! And your husband is right…I had no idea…but honestly I never even thought about it either. I like your blog, I like you, the rest of it doesn't matter to me. This is a great post!

    My recent post How to Keep Your Audience Engaged with Facebook Insights

    1. It would be boring if we were all the same. Thank you, Michelle. Staying true to myself is a journey that I am enjoying.
      My recent post 'Cause This Is Summertime (In My Fresh Prince Voice)

  32. Your hubby gave you the best advice, Kimberly: Do you. The blogging world can be a maze sometimes, but people respond best to our authenticity. And I understand fully about the religion and politics land mines. I have friends of all spectrums, so sometimes I keep a low profile, especially on Facebook. On the blog, I really don't touch politics, but I will speak about my faith and my love of God. Not to be preachy, but just to share where I'm at spiritually. We all have to blog from that place that is most authentic, and when we're doing it, we know it in our “knower”! Thanks for stepping out and sharing your true self with us!
    My recent post What if we removed the mask?

    1. Alison, that is comforting. Thank you. Lots of hotbeds and landmines out there. It's a pleasure to know I'm not alone.
      My recent post Isn't That Pinteresting?

  33. Wow Kimberly! I LOVE that you are being you. I love your authenticity and candor. I 'm glad you have such a supportive hubby. I'll admit that there are certain things that I avoid discussing in regards to certain controversial topics, but if asked, and if I chose to answer, I always answer with honesty. At the office, patients share their beliefs and opinions ALL the time. Most times I just listen…I neither agree or disagree.

    I'm so glad that you were motivated by Joi and found the courage to not be a people please, but do what you feel. Great post!
    My recent post Short Arm and Old Eye…

  34. I can identify with this post so much. Firstly, I thought long and hard about, what topics, what people, and what subjects would be discussed on the blog. I joke with my family, that it's like planning my little TV show; cast members, supporting cast, “soap opera scenery” and all that jazz. I am baptist and I think the first mention of it was last week with that tribute to sister, which was followed by a post with a huge Obama picture on my fridge, and a few weeks ago I subtlety mentioned my discuss with the Trayvon Martin case. I still maintain that those are my personal parts of my life that I choose to keep to myself for blogging purposes. I will comment all day long on others post but I choose to ultimately stay away from hot topics on blog in the are of religion and politics. I will however, challenge some blogging politics and health and wellness politics 🙂

    So, um…I am so glad you shared that convo with the hubs. I was trying to figure out if you were black or white for weeks, not that it mattered but he was so right. I couldn't tell 🙂

    I am so touched by your paragraph! I have been so blessed to meet you; my sister in blogging! I feel so connected to you it's not even funny! I had no idea our acquaintance had that affect on your blogging path. I am proud of you for publishing this and thrilled that we can motivate an inspire each other.

    1. Connecting with you was ordained. I know that now. I am a little surprised that you say you have designed how to present certain “taboo” subjects because your posts are always so alive. But I get it. Just because you think it–it doesn't mean it has to be spelled out in print. I too feel liberated commenting on other bloggers' posts, because I think that it won't be as associated with my blog on another platform.

      Hope and Michelle were touched by how you inspired me. And yes, you did, my friend. Our connection is also what solidified me writing this post. When I saw the NaBloPoMo post for the day, I knew what I needed to talk about. I have had several people reach out to me today that are not bloggers because of it. We grow each day because we lift each other up. Thank you, Joi.
      My recent post September Sapphire Even Day Blog Challenge

    2. Wow did I really type discuss for disgust! Geesh, this world of blogging can make one look really whacky!!!

  35. This post was such a breath of fresh air! Since starting my blog, I've been struggling with what to post, what not to post, how much to post, yada, yada, yada. I too have struggled with the “Like” button. I haven't ventured into the realm of hot button issues yet, and at this point I'm not sure that I'll go down that road. Time will tell. I'm still learning that I can't please all of the people all of the time, and at some point there's a possibility that someone may not like what I have to say, and it's okay. Thanks for your post!
    My recent post Summer, Summer, Summertime…

    1. I appreciate that, Kennie! I've been holding my breath all day, because I did not know how people would respond. I hope you are enjoying NaBloPoMo. I almost named my post on Monday the same as you did, Summer, Summer, Summertime. Yeah!
      My recent post September Sapphire Even Day Blog Challenge

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