Learning to Live in a World Without Momma
On Monday, November 11, 2019, my beautiful mother passed away and my life changed forever. She was 67 years old. I almost missed spending her last days with her because I hoped her illness would subside in time for my Thanksgiving arrival in Louisiana. I listened to my head instead of my heart and flew to Baton Rouge to be by Momma’s side in the hospital. When I landed at the BR airport, my aunt told me that Momma had just been transferred to a hospice facility. Hospice. An odd calm feeling came over me. The news was devastating but somehow not entirely shocking. I subconsciously knew when I traveled from Kansas that morning that I was going to say goodbye to Momma.
Her homegoing celebration was incredible. My sister and I planned it with the assistance of some wonderful supportive friends, church congregants, and family members. It was held at my mother’s beloved church where she actively served with the Baby Dedication Ministry, Bereavement Ministry, financial planning courses, and administrative office. I found a strength that I didn’t know I had to organize tasks for Momma’s funeral services. Daddy, who had been married to her for 47 years, has always been Superman to me. But his Lois Lane was now gone. I hurt for him.
I hurt for my soon-to-be 89-year-old grandmother who had lost her firstborn. I hurt for Momma’s two sisters and brother who were very close to her. I hurt for my teenage nephew who cherished his Granny and has had several family losses including his father. I hurt for The Deuce because his Granny spoiled him rotten whenever they were together and from afar. I hurt for Hubby because she had been in his life for 30 years and was his biggest cheerleader. I hurt for my sister who got remarried while Momma was in hospice, and as we FaceTimed the ceremony for her, Momma gained enough strength to say, “Congratulations!”
My heart is full from the love and the condolences my family and I have received. Momma was an awesome woman and touched many lives. An accomplished retired realtor of almost 30 years, wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, aunt, Godmother, sister-in-law, mother-in-law, and friend. My best friend. I’m not quite sure how to live in this world without my Momma. Not only do I resemble her physically but many of my interests were hers: watching television, reading novels, cooking, assembling jigsaw puzzles, dishing up celebrity gossip, and more. Virgos, firstborns, and night owls. Tons of things in common. I miss her so much.
My final promises to her were to do better, take care of her family, and to celebrate her life. This new normal for me is difficult. It doesn’t seem real. But I am determined to continue to make Momma proud. Milestones, holidays, and life events will prompt me to pick up the phone and call her. I will shed many tears. However, I have mustard seed faith and I know that Momma will always be with me. Thank you, God, for sharing her with all of us.
Take care,
Kimberly
My deepest condolences Kimberly!
Your post has made me teary -losing a parent breaks your heart into millions of pieces, and then you patch it up slowly, day by day, with love and memories you created with your parent. I lost my dad when I was 23 (I am 47 now) and I still miss him everyday. Your mother sounds like a warm, kind and loving person. May you find solace in the good deeds she made and the memories you made together! Love never truly dies.
I am trying my best to focus on the wonderful memories, Maya. Thank you.
My sympathy, Kimberly, my mother passed many years ago but I can still feel the sting. What a large, loving, supportive family you have, that’s a blessing that I can tell you cherish and I hope will be a comfort to you. Thanks for sharing your mother’s inspiring life.
Thank you, Dr. Aletha. My mother was widely loved and so am I.
I am so sorry for your loss. Your mom sounds like such a lovely, inspirational person. I have been through the deaths of my great grandmother, all four of my grandparents, and my dad. I wish I had something soothing or wise to say, something to give you comfort…. But my honest thoughts and feelings on the subject is that loss sucks, there is nothing that gave me any peace about it. You just have to learn to live with it. But I have tried to live my best life because I know all of them would want that for me. Hugs, Kimberly.
I appreciate your honesty, Michelle. It does suck but my mother would want me to live my best life. Thank you.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Both my parents passed away this spring and I’m still getting used to the “new normal” that you mentioned. I’m glad you have a good support system … grief seems very individualized and it’s so helpful to have people around who can let you go with the flow. Blessings to you this Christmas season.
Thank you, Lois. My condolences to you on your losses. I’m taking it one day at a time.
The loss of your mother is devastating no matter the age or circumstances. I will continue to pray for strength to get you through as you will never get over it.
So true, Antionette. Thank you.
Kimberly, what a lovely tribute to your Momma! My mother died many years ago now and I still miss her every day. Your “… life events will prompt me to pick up the phone and call her” touched me because that remains true to this day. Just like when I was a kid and rushed home from school because “I can’t wait to tell Mama” something that happened. Big virtual hug! (And thank you for hosting #TrafficJam.)
I’m learning a lot about grief and loss, Jean. Thank you for your kind words!
There are no words. I am so sorry for your loss. Your momma sounds like an amazing woman. I pray you will find comfort as you adjust to your new normal. ~Tracy
#trafficjam
Yes, she was an amazing woman. Thank you, Tracy.
So sorry for your loss. Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way.
Thank you, Pat. I appreciate that.
So sorry for your loss. You do look just like your mother. I lost my mother three years ago and I can tell you this; it gets easier as the days go by. however, for now, grieve, cry, and feel all the feelings that come with such a great loss. Thinking of you during this tough time and sending lots of prayers and hugs your way. You will get through it.
Thank you, Yvonne. I have an incredible support system at home that is allowing me to grieve however I need to. It is a tremendous blessing.
So sorry, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Thank you, Dee.